Davey and Lia at Breakfast

One of the good things to come from Davey getting so sick is that Dup and I are on a nutrition mission. It's a lot of work, offering these little guys a multitude of healthy choices that they are likely to reject on a regular basis. The bulk of the work rests on Dup's shoulders and he's doing a great job so far. We are on the verge of having a very picky eater on our hands. I have the feeling that picky eaters are partly born and partly created. He's already loving new types of food though just because we're offering him a wider array more often. If it were up to Davey he would subsist on a diet soley made up of Trader Joe's Cheesy Corn Puffs and Rice milk, not a balanced diet for a growing one year old boy.

As you can see from this photo Davey is enjoying a rice cake with peanut butter** and Lia is making him laugh.

**not recalled by the salmonella scare

Baby Davey = Good!

Thanks so much to every one for your caring, heartfelt words of comfort. It means so much to me. Davey is doing SO MUCH better since yesterday. He's just been in the best mood, getting his energy back and that twinkle in his eye that makes him so unique. I think he just feels so much better and he's grateful that he's home. I'd still say that he's at about 95%. We're going to keep him quarantined for another week, from other kids, etc. I'm really going to have to be vigilant over the next 6 months or so about keeping him healthy. Up until this point I've been extremely laid back about hanging around other little snotty noses and really it does build their immune systems and you can't shelter them from being sick and you shouldn't try but I'm going to try. If he gets sick again like that....

Life jolts you and shakes you up sometimes out of your haze to remind you that you are grateful for every breath you have. This experience, seeing my little boy in so much pain, so scared, worrying that he could have a very serious condition, it has reminded me. I'm awake to it but also I am very tired. The whole thing has exhausted me to the point where I feel like curling into a ball and crying for 2 hours and then sleeping for 2 days. Sleep unfortunately is not in the immediate future...

When I walk in the door after being at work all day Davey looks up and says, "Ahhhhhh!!" and then he says, "Ma MA." and then he runs up to me with his arms open and I pick him up and he nuzzles my face and I say, "i missed you so much today!" and he says, "Ma MA." etc...

Visit to scary land, everything fine.

Davey has been fighting a chest cold since X-mas and had just finally gotten through the night without coughing when he got hit with a bad stomach virus. He started throwing up on Thursday night and by Sunday he was still very sick and had become inconsolable. He wouldn't stop crying, was lethargic, wouldn't crack a smile. We brought him into the ER to see if he needed to be put on IV fluids and when they were giving him an IV he had a grand mal seizure on the table in the ER. Next thing you know, he's unconscious and being wheeled down for a cat scan (you can't go with him mom and dad) and I'm outside the ER screaming "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" while dup is crying on the curb.

Davey is home now. They did all the brain tests and have determined it was a one off thing caused by dehydration and trauma (being held down and stuck with a needle). We spent 2 days in the ICU with him hooked up to a monitor and an IV. He cried pretty much non-stop the whole time.

I don't know how the kids and parents of kids with serious illnesses cope, living in the hospital, getting poked, going under anaesthesia, chemo, etc. I was there 2 days and it was fucking HELL. The worst part was watching Davey's spirit break. There is a seriousness to him that I had not seen before but he's coming back to us slowly. He's smiling and walking and rediscovering his world. He is still sick, feeling crappy and tired but he's hydrated and fighting.

Thank god. Thank you thank you thank you.

Gratitude pours from my everything.

Thank you again.

More later.

HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES

when i look at this: click here, I know that all the work we did in 08, the planning the packing the transitioning the job searching, the dog transporting the unpacking the house hunting the paper signing, the baby dragging around, exhausting, emotional and physical work - it was worth it. hallelujah.

this is now a weather blog.

one thing i wanted to share finally is that we're trying to get pregnant again. we actually were pregnant, or i was. i was pregnant, yes but i had a miscarriage. this was nov. 10th. i haven't wanted to talk about it publicly because i feel uncomfortable about the outpouring of sympathy that inevitably comes when i tell people. i don't want too many sad feelings surrounding it because i feel so incredibly positive about the fact that i will be pregnant again soon and that this time the baby will live happily and healthy and be born full term. the day that it happened, oh it was very sad and very unexpected. really though i feel very connected to this little soul that is trying to punch through and i think it was trying very hard but something just wasn't right. so this time, we'll get it right! your positive thoughts are much welcome.

we spent new years eve down south with my cousin and her family who we love. it was a really fun night except that davey has had this bad cough for over a week and he wakes up with coughing fits and he wouldn't go to sleep, so we ended up driving home just after midnight. i made really good dirty martinis for my cousin and i. when my cousin's sister-in-law had a sip of hers she said, "wow, why does that taste so fucking good?" and my cousin said, "because we're alcoholics."

mmmm. it was really good.

I've been doing fine with eating no sweets and doing more exercise and stretching but i haven't lost a pound yet. I feel better though. Dieting and trying to get pregnant just seem to oppose one another so I think I'll just continue to focus on no sweets & exercise.

our good friends david and jen came over last night for dinner. we had spent the whole day cleaning the condo so it looked ship shape. they were so positive and complimentary about our place and i really appreciated it (even if they were fudging a bit). i went to sleep feeling like i live in a palace.

We watched Wall-E last night. omg. he's cute.