Highlights from Sophmore and Junior Year

Cheerleading:

Giving baby diaper pins to Gray Armstrong whenever he pinned his man. Gray was my obsessive, unrequited crush all sophomore year. He was a star wrestler. He would put these diaper pins on his letterman’s jacket, which I longed to wear but never did. I used to walk by his locker and kiss it, leaving a big lipstick lip mark. This was as a sign of my love. I also did this to his truck which was a yellow Toyota pickup. I did make out with him once at a party where we had both been drinking everclear. Have you ever had everclear? It’s illegal now in the US. It’s like drinking motor fuel. I think you could run a lawn mower with it. We made out but I don't think I ever once had a conversation with him. He was painfully shy and I was terrified of him.

Hanging out with the sexy, cool girls on the squad who were one year older than me and partying hard with them. They were the “Heathers” of the school and they were really fun. The goodie goodie younger girls on the squad tried to tell on us (we weren’t supposed to go to parties or drink) and we had to have a meeting where we passed around a “spirit stick”. We cried a lot and basically begged these girls not to turn us in. We promised to never drink or go to parties again. They didn’t turn us in. We of course continued to go to parties and drink.

Theatre:

Hot Box girl in “Guys and Dolls” - Fell asleep back stage because that play is so long and there were huge stretches between numbers. Woke up in the middle of a dream and fell down a flight of stairs trying to get on stage. Walked across the stage with no skirt on. Didn’t know that I wasn’t wearing my skirt. It had fallen off. when I fell down the stairs.

Squealer the pig in “Animal Farm – the Musical” - Yes it’s true. We did Animal Farm the Musical when ALL WE WANTED TO DO WAS GREASE. I wanted to be Rizzo so fucking bad but instead I had to play a pig and wear a pig nose and pig hooves a little pig tail. I had the most lines in the play though and when you’re in high school it’s all about how many lines you have.

Other activities I was involved with:

Student council – I was the lunch time activity coordinator. We had really fun activites every Thursday. Like a pie eating contest or whatever. Being on the student council was very involved though. I had my finger on the pulse by now, involving myslef in all aspects of Student Government and event planning, paving my way towards the presidency.

I was also in like five hundred other clubs at school. Ironically, Students Against Drunk Driving was one of them. Drama club, who knows what else. I was in year book for a while I think. It was all supposed to look good on my college applications but it didn’t do me any good because my grades sucked. I was like Max in “Rushmore" - In charge of everything but doing horribly in my actual classes. I always had an excuse to leave - game to cheer for, student council meeting, decorating for a dance, on and on and on. I was never in class. Also my mom worked in the main office as the career counselor. I would go to the front desk and say, "my mom said I could sign myself out. She's too busy to come up here and do it." That worked for a long time. It worked actually right up until I had to resign as President. Everyone thought I was such a superstar but I was just a trickster. I was a politician.

God, k. That was so difficult for some reason. It all just seems so damned boring. Tomorrow we will get on with my senior year and I will tell you about how I became the Homecoming Queen. Now, that's an interesting story...