la Ketch

my life story

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

everybody run - part 1

I spent most of the summer of ’91 mapping out my plans for Senior year. I was especially obsessing on the upcoming Homecoming festivities. Homecoming was a big, big deal in the Claw. There was a big parade downtown, alumni got involved and of course there was the big Football Game and there was the Coronation Ceremony and there was the Dance. The Coronation Ceremony took place the night before the big Game, which took place the night before the Dance. It was a huge weekend, bigger than any other and I was basically in charge.

My first turn against the grain had to do with the theme. I had gotten it into my head sometime around July that the theme should be Disney. It was probably a subconscious throwback to my California days. I practically grew up in Disneyland, went there all the time as a kid and I loved it. Ok, I still do love Disneyland. I DO. Fucking sue me. It’s the Happiest Place on Earth. And that was the Homecoming theme I wanted, “The Happiest Place on Earth.” Unfortunately, most people wanted something a bit more traditional, like, “Stairway to Heaven” or “Magic Carpet Ride” or “Two Tickets to Paradise”. CLICHES!!! Those unimaginative bastards.

I stood in front of the uproar that was the student council meeting where we were to vote on the Homecoming theme, with a gavel in my hand and fire in my eyes. My loyal Student Council members (Vice President, Secretary, Treasurer, etc.) were at my side. Each home room could elect one representative and they all showed up at the meeting to vote. The Student Council sat behind a table at the front of the stage and the home room reps sat in the auditorium seats facing us. I stood behind a podium making my case. The room was in a state of complete chaos. I SLAMMED that gavel down and demanded order.

“Order! order, ORDER!!!! (They finally simmer down) Now, I don’t think everyone has thought this through as much as I have. You are all talking about songs you like, songs by Led Zepplin (cheers erupt from the gallery) and that’s great! But I’m inviting you to think BEYOND one, single, solitary, limiting song. We need to consider other things here, things that the theme will effect, things like the parade float decorations and dance decorations and the PEP ASSEMBLY, which includes skits and the cheerleader’s dances - all of it. We need to start thinking BIG PICTURE people. If we do Disney, a whole world is opened up to us. We can have "Cinderella’s Ball" for the dance and "Pirate’s of the Caribbean" for a float. Imagine it! Each of the floats could be different and unique. We could have a "Little Mermaid" Float and a "Country Bear Jamboree" Float and a "Haunted House" Float and a "Space Mountain" Float. Don’t you see how the possibilities are endless? If we do, “Stairway to Heaven” (Cheers erupt once again) Order! ORDER! ORDER!!! (They finally simmer down), if we do something like that, then we are stuck with STAIRS and HEAVEN for everything. It’s like tons of cotton balls and angel wings and staircases leading into nothing and what else? It’s so boring and redundant. We can’t consider it for one second longer! We will not consider it for one second longer!” I was red in the face by then. My mind was made up and everyone knew there was going to be no arguing with me. My husband can relate to the situation these poor people were in.

It was unanimous. The theme would be Disney – The Happiest Place on Earth. Everyone voted for it but no one wanted it. I had bullied them. They all went out of the meeting and talked shit about what an out of control tyrant I was, how I had forced them all to vote on this stupid, crappy, baby theme. Fuck ‘em, I didn’t care. They would see how it would all turn our brilliantly. It was going to be awesome.

So with all of this going on, all of the planning, I didn’t really have too much time to think about the actual Homecoming Court. Of course, I had considered that I might get nominated being the RULER OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL and everything. But it wasn’t like cheerleading for me. I didn’t sit up nights thinking about it.

The Homecoming Court works differently at different schools. At our school, only seniors could be on the court. There were ten of us – five girls / five boys. The entire school voted, so it was a popularity contest in the strongest sense. They voted for the court but an outside, impartial panel of judges was brought in to pick the actual King and Queen.

The Homecoming King and Queen was the biggest thing you could be at this school, the top rung of the ladder. The Senior Prom King and Queen were mere rejects. Even being on the Homecoming Court and not making King or Queen was better than being the Prom King or Queen because once you were on Homecoming Court, you were disqualified from being on Senior Prom Court and being on Homecoming was better because it happened first and the whole town was involved. Senior Prom was limited to just the school. Homecoming was much bigger. In a very, very, very small way.

I was almost too busy to even pay attention to the fact that the voting was happening on the day that they did. I’m sure I voted but I put it at the back of my mind. They announced the Homecoming Court over the intercom system, just like they had the presidency. When I heard my name, I was pretty excited (what to wear, what to wear, what to wear.....) but I was still way more concerned about the Pep Assembly. I was constructing what I wanted to be the most spectacular theatrical event the school had ever seen. It would be the Happiest Place On Earth alright. Being on the Homecoming Court was just sort of a side dish, until I began to realize how easy it would be for me to actually win.

(Going to bed. More tomorrow. This one could take a few parts. Hang in there loyal subjects. I know this story seems a little annoying because I'm such hot shit and everything but what comes up must come down ...)


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