little update

still pregnant! some things are happening - like tons of braxton hicks contractions - these are sort of "practice contractions" for those who don't know. It's really a tightening around the abdomen and they don't hurt but can become uncomfortable if you are having one right after the other, which I am. My stomach is hard as a rock pretty much all of the time now. Yesterday I started having some stomach cramping, which is how labor can start for some women ("feels like gas") but no regular contractions yet. So again, it could be tonight or next week. I go to the doctor tomorrow so we'll see what she says and then I have a chiropractor appt. and a acupuncture appt. so hopefully, they can help get things going.

Gallivanting Monkey is asking "how will we know you're in labor!?" i think checking here will be the best way. I'll have dup post something as soon as we know it's happening for reals.

Today is the 23rd of July so I guess this guy is going to be a Leo! I was kind of hoping for a Cancer like his mommy but some of my favorite people are Leos - like Dup for instance. I'm sure we'll get along better this way too.

the refrigerator vs. the Saks Oracle

still pregnant! the official due date is just one week away - Thursday the 26th. It's so crazy waiting for something like this that could start at any minute or could be one or two weeks from now. Typically, first time moms give birth past their due date but not always. I've made some really good progress since my last examination 2 weeks ago when the baby was at a -3 station and my cervix was hard and long. On Tuesday she checked me and the baby is at a -1 station and my cervix is soft and thin and dilated to 1. Whoo hoo! only 9 more centimeters to go! I apologise to people who have no idea what i'm talking about here. The stations mean how far down the baby is in the birth canal. it goes from -4 to +4, zero being right in the middle, at the pelvic bone. So a -1 means that his head really far down there! yay Dup Jr.! I'm so proud of him. My midwife said that I am at a great place to start labor. Translation = could be any minute or could be a week or two. I'm kind of thinking he will come around the due date. I'm hoping but WHO KNOWS!! Still no regular contractions yet or anything.

Some of you have heard about my experience with the Saks Oracle. I don't think I've mentioned it here so to summarise - I met a sales person at Saks Fifth Avenue who approached me and told me he is a psychic and that I'm going to give birth to a boy on August 2nd. Of course I was disappointed that he was predicting it so far past my due date but it's a likely date for sure. And there was something about his confidence and his outfit that made me really believe him.

Yesterday I cleaned out my refrigerator. I don't mean that I threw away some old take out containers people. I mean that I took everything out of it. I took the shelves out of it. I scrubbed the inside. I scrubbed the shelves. I threw out a bunch of old food and condiments and then I put everything back in. I even scrubbed the outside, taking down all of the photos, reorganizing them and getting rid of old stuff that was stuck up there. I even scrubbed the top, which had about 3 inches of grime on it. The fucking fridge is fucking CLEAN. I talked to my cousin last night (the one pregnant with twins) and when I told her how I had cleaned the fridge she was like, "Oh that's so funny because I just talked to Mischa and that's exactly what she did today." Mischa is my cousin's sister-in-law. She's pregnant with her first baby and she's due a few days before me. My cousin was like, "I'll bet you both go into labor really soon now." And I really felt like this would be true.

So which is it?

I'm packing my suitcase for the hospital today. My cousin told me not to do it because it will make the baby come later.

Anyone that has read this blog for very long will know that I have issues with waiting and uncertainty but I'm doing ok with it for now. I'm loads better since I had my last day of work on Friday. YAY!!! Mentally and physically it has helped me so much. Now I'm moving on to my "one thing a day" philosophy. Yesterday the one thing was the refrigerator, which was a really big thing. Does posting on my blog count as a thing?

I actually need to get off of here because sitting at a desk makes my feet swell like crazy and it's going to be really hot and humid here today.

I'll keep you posted!

hungry hippos

Today is my last day at work before I go on maternity leave. Praise the lord. Praise be!

This has been a really hard couple of weeks for me. I'm just feeling super emotional and tired and my feet are swollen and I really don't want to leave the house. I feel like I can kind of understand what an agoraphobe must feel like. Why leave? I have everything I need right here. I don't want to talk to anyone, esp. the people at work and I really, really don't want to go into the chaos of the city. I imagine that after today I just won't go into the city at all - except to give birth that is.

Speaking of birth, giving birth is imminent. There is no turning back from whence we came. It's on the immediate horizon. Could be anywhere from now to three weeks from now. So close and yet...

Like most large events in my life that I have spent a lot of time imagining (big trips, my wedding) the event has now become a blank to me. I think that's a good sign and means that it's going to be soon. When I've thought about it in the past, I had so many things I imagined and now when I try to imagine it there's nothing, a bag of air, a cloud. What will it be?

In not so happy news, Dup's mom is sick. She's being diagnosed with cancer (again) and has been in the hospital for a few weeks now. They've been trying to figure out just what exactly is happening with her and it's still not completely clear if she has Pancreatic Cancer or if this is cancer that spread from when she had ovarian cancer. Either way, she's going to need surgery and then most likely Chemo. She's been through the ringer and is very weak, so they're sending her to a rehabilitation center for about 4 weeks before they do the surgery. Then of course she'll have to recover from that and then of course, chemo. So please say a little prayer for the Duper's mommy because she's going to be in the hospital for a long time and being in the hospital sucks. Dup was down there last week. I couldn't go because of the baby. It's been super tough on Dup. So say a little prayer for him too! The timing is horrible but I ask you, when is it ever a good time to get cancer? We'll get through it.

Luckily, Eliott the beagle is oblivious to all of the hub ub. He lives in his beagle world. Actually, He has been recently traumatised by thunderstorms and fireworks - so pray for him too while you're at it. I know he'll be fine when the baby comes, after a brutal adjustment period i'm sure but one thing happened that really hit it home for me. We got this adorable little mobile to put over the crib. It has little plush circus animals that hang down from ribbons. So cute! I took it out and set it up and Eliott started going nutso. Of course these little plush circus animals look EXACTLY like his little plush dog toys. His squirrel, his hedgehog, etc. These little animals are what we give him when he chews things he shouldn't, "No, Eliott, that's not your toy - this plush little animal is your toy." So now he's like, "What the fuck? Why aren't those my toys?" Poor E.

I really have only have half a day left. Then . . .

Well, then we play the waiting game.

And as the great Homer Simpson once said, "The waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!"

Lu Lu Eightball by Emily Flake

"but my mom put one in the bathroom... "

(click on comic for larger view)