Lu Lu Eightball by Emily Flake

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flashback

Christmas was a wonderful success. I did not get out of my pajamas all day. I sat on the couch and watched horrible television for most of the morning, broke for lunch and then some good HBO in the afternoon until bed.

Have you ever watched Laurel and Hardy’s “March of the Wooden Soldiers” (sometimes called “Babes in Toy Land”) all the way through? I remember seeing bits and pieces of the film growing up but I know I’ve never watched it from beginning to end. Well folks let me tell you this movie is WHACKED OUT. I seriously felt like I was on acid watching it. The version they were showing was colorized (original is black and white) and that made it even more weird. They have these midgets and monkeys dressed in animal suits and masks playing the three little pigs and this Mickey Mouse type character. It’s so unnerving that you can’t stop watching it. It’s really over the top and Laurel and Hardy are pretty funny in a lot of the scenes. I found a link to the film on line but it’s in black and white. The colorization is what really makes it trippy. Still check it out if you want to get your freak on.

Later in the day, Dup went to the video store and rented the next three episodes of “Big Love”. This is the newish show on HBO starring Bill Paxton and Chloe Sevigny among talented others. It’s about a Polygamist family and it is really good and really FUCKED UP. It’s actually quite scary on a lot of levels and super addictive. We watched 3 episodes in a row.

I know that by very definition, dreams are generally weird and unusual but let me tell you, last night, I had the weirdest Mother Goose Polygamy dreams in my life. It was EPIC. I can not even begin to describe it to you.

Merry Christmas!

Winter Solstice

Today is the shortest day of the year.

Tomorrow it will start to get lighter.

Congratulations everybody!

We've done it again.

after the office party

Last night was our holiday office party. Because we are a finance company, we get to have it at a 5 star restaurant in a private room, which we did and it was nice. The food was really good and so was the wine and everyone had a good time.

I am sort of in charge of the party and I have taken it upon myself to do a little game or performance every year. Last year I did a fake awards ceremony a la “The Dundies” and it was a huge hit. Can you believe that my entire acting career has boiled down to me performing once a year at my office holiday dinner? As sad as it sounds, it may be true.

Anyway, last year’s party was hard to top but I seem to have done it. I did a top ten list al la Letterman and also we played a game where I made everyone tell me secrets about themselves and we had to guess who’s secret was who’s. The secrets were supposed to be funny tid bits, or embarrassing moments. Some people came up with some great ones and some people are SO FUCKING BORING. One analyst tried to tell me that his was his wife has two cats. I was like, “and she has sex with them?” WTF? His wife has two cats. Who gives a flying fuck? After much perseverance, I finally extracted a better one out of him. He ended up winning the game too. Weird.

So the party was a success and I will take the weekend to bask in my greatness but come Monday, I’m going to have to start working on next year. I’m hoping to get Triumph the Insult Dog or something.

In more exciting news, Kathy had her baby. A beautiful girl named Grayce (pronounced “Gracie”) Cathleen. I just bought my plane ticket to go visit her in Florida over President’s Day Weekend. I’m so excited to play with the baby, see my dear friend who I miss horribly and also lay by a pool in the middle of February. I am flying a very scary airline that no one has ever heard of. It’s called USA 3000. It sounds like a food processor. Hopefully, I won’t die.
Dup and I are staying home for Christmas! It’s the most wonderful thing. I plan on staying in my pajamas all day long. Then on Jan 5th we are going the cruise with his parents to the Bahamas. It should be INTERESTING. Again, sun is January can never be a bad thing.

Dup and I aren’t getting each other presents this year. We are buying a new QUEEN sized bed instead. I can not wait to finally get a good night’s sleep in a bed that’s big enough for two people and a beagle because presently it’s really only enough room for the beagle. We are actually doing some major reworking of the entire apartment, which I am super excited about but Dup is …not so excited about. Dup fears change. We are actually moving the bedroom into the living room, the office into the bedroom and the living room into the office. I know, am I INSANE? Perhaps, but this is really the only possible way to have a Queen sized bed and we must have a Queen sized bed. Also, the current configuration wastes space. We are all squishy in the bedroom but we have this huge space for an office. It’s nice to have a huge office space but just unnecessary. I’d much prefer to have a little desk scrunched in a corner and plenty of room to lounge in a bedroom. Luckily, Dup has the entire week after Christmas off. His company did this in Lieu of giving bonuses. So, he’ll do all of the work. Thanks Duper!

I guess that’s it. Wasn’t so hard. Seems kind of boring but my therapist recently told me, “La Ketch, people don’t give us enough credit for having nothing going on. Having a general lack of drama in our lives takes quite a bit of effort.” It’s true I think. I love my boring life. It’s pretty fun.

Love,
La Ketch