Turning a corner

Well some things happened. The holidays. The New Year. It's 2012. Am I being silly optimistic when I say that 2012 has a nice ring to it? It does. It really does although it also sounds so futuristic. Like I can't believe we're not flying around in space suits. 2012, really?

2012 is the year that Davey starts kindergarten. This fall, he will start. CRAZY. I need to call and make an appointment to register him. Coo Coo. He continues to do really well in his Spanish pre-school and his teachers have us working on some things to prepare him for Kinder. Mainly not hitting his amigos. He gets very into his role playing games and clobbers people. It's not so good. Also his attention is very scattered in class and he likes to do things like lie down in the corner while the teacher is giving a lesson. He says he gets tired. I don't doubt it. Painting and singing and playing with playdough and doing soccer all day would wipe me out too but if I laid down on the carpet behind my desk every time I felt tired, I'd have been fired 100 times by now. The sooner he learns to face this reality the better. Other than these things, he's doing well. We've learned that there is a possibility that he can "test" into the Spanish Language Charter School that we really want to get him in. It's more like a fun little interview with the Kindergarten teacher and he won't know it's a test. She'll just speak to him in Spanish and see how much he understands. So there's no risk, we'll give it a shot and if he doesn't know enough he'll still be in the regular lottery, cool. We'll see!

The other really exciting thing that is happening in 2012 is Disney Passes. We got Annual Passes to Disneyland. They are the very cheapest level and so we can't ever go on the weekend and a lot of days are blacked out but we don't want to go on those days anyway so it works out. The good thing about having passes this year is that we don't have to pay for Jasper and since Davey is still in pre-school, it's easy for us to go half-days during the week. I take a half-day at work and we pick davey up at 1pm and go from there. We're in the park by 2-2:30 and we have a good 6 hours. We bring the boy's pajamas and they fall asleep in the car on the way home. With Deron working most evenings and weekends and me working during the day, it's a good family bonding activity. We all really love it and have a lot of fun there. I think it's going to make the year really fun for us. It's not something that we'll be able to afford to do every year but that's fine too because I'm sure we'll burn out on the place eventually, especially since you end up dropping so much money on food and junk once you walk in the gate.

Two big corners have been turned. First, Jasper is no longer sleeping in a crib. He's in the bunk beds now and so he and Davey are officially sharing a room! So exciting. He did it all on his own. It started during nap time. He just announced that he wanted to sleep in the bunk beds. The funny thing is that he demands to sleep on top, which is perfectly fine with Davey. I was a little scared at first because even though the railing is very sturdy and there's no real danger of him rolling off, I thought he might get disoriented in the middle of the night and try and climb down and fall that way. So far this hasn't happened and he's actually quite coordinated and good and climbing up and down all on his own. There is something about the two of them sleeping together in one room that just kills me. I guess because my sister and I slept in bunk beds. Also they are just playing together more and more now and even though they do fight a lot, when they get a long, it's beyond sweet.

The second big corner is the state of the condo. After I repainted the bathroom, I decided that what I needed to do next is get the bathtub redone, so I'd been saving for that but once I saved up about half the money, I decided instead to hire a painter to paint what I hadn't yet done which was half of the living room, the loft and our bedroom. Well it's done and boy howdy and I happy. It's truly wonderful to have it done. I can actually sit in the living room and not feel the impulse to gouge my eyes out because the walls are so horrible and need paint so badly. I don't have to sit there and feel, "I should be painting." I can just sit. Phew. Also, I found this really nice painter who did a great job for a very good price. I still need our master bath painted and the stair railings so I'm going to have him do those next when I save a little more. I'm done painting. It's so horrible and boring and I'm horrible at it. I get so bored that I do a crappy job. No more! Well, maybe just the closets.

Ok, that's all I got for today. Here's to turning corners and the hope of a good 2012. May it bring us all peace, health and joy.

Sometimes things work

As I was doing the dishes last night, I had this thought and I thought that I better post about this thought before it flits away: Sometimes things work.

I know it sounds obvious but I think most of the time we talk to each other about how things aren't working, our troubles are more interesting than our prevailing virtues, this is not news but it is important to remember. I've talked a lot on this blog about how things haven't worked out, the car breaking down the dishwasher breaking.

I wanted every one to know that we've had a lot of troubles with our dishwasher lately which has involved me taking the thing apart piece by piece and cleaning it out over and over again because it's all full of gunk from the stupid phosphate free soap I've been using. It turns out that saving the environment destroys your dishwasher. Huh. So it hasn't been draining properly and I've been "this close" to calling the repair guy but then the day before yesterday all of a sudden, it's draining. So that's working.

And we've had all sorts of problems with our CRV. The engine light came on (again) after we've spent a ton of cash fixing the things needed to fix it but then we got the oil changed and it went off.

Oh and also Eliott started limping a few weeks ago and I was sure it was his back again but it seems he just stepped on something because he was fine 24 hours later.

So that's three things that have worked, three examples but if I were to start listing all of the things that work, that are working in my life right now, the list would be very long and probably boring but long. Things are working all of the time.

A lot of times what I do when I see the inkling of something going wrong is that I jump to the worst possible conclusion and start preparing myself for battle. I think that I'm good at going into battle, facing the worst and that sometimes that part of me gets bored and feels underused and wants to spring into action. "HERE WE GO! HOW ARE WE GOING TO DEAL WITH THIS ONE?" When in some instances I should just maybe, wait and see? Hmmmm....

I'm talking about the little things that can chip away at you here. When you are living your life in such a way, as most of us are, that a few hundred or thousand dollars can really put you in a tailspin financially, it's easy to feel like life is coming at you. For every step forward, there's always something unexpected that seems to put you right back where you were.

Sometimes things work and I'm grateful when they do. I wish I could notice it as much as I do when they don't work. I guess we all wish we could.

One funny thing I wanted to share that Jasper is doing, he's so cute right now it's unreal. Deron and I decided that his cuteness is peaking. He's just talking so much now but he's still so cute and chubby and all toddler. They are otherworldly cute at this age. It's like living with an elf. Ok so the thing he does right now is he won't say his own name for some reason. He knows how to say it. He'll pretty much take a stab at any word you throw at him these days. It might not sound exactly like the word you've asked him to repeat but he's "saying" it. So recently I've started asking him what his name is and the conversation goes something like this:

Me: Jasper what's your name?
Jasper: Spiderman
Me: You're Spiderman?
Jasper: Noooooo
Me: What's your name?
Jasper: Me!
Me: Yes you are me but what is your name? Is your name Jasper?
Jasper: Yes.
Me: Can you say "Jasper?"
Jasper: Don't want to.
Me: (pointing to Davey) Who is that?
Jasper: Davey
Me: What's my name?
Jasper: Mamma!
Me: What's your name?
Jasper: Me
Me: Can you say, "Jasper?"
Jasper: Not now. Don't want to.

And He Turned Two!

My little Jasper turned two. Oh gosh he makes my heart hurt to look at him I love him so much. He's just so little and cute and talking, talking, talking a bunch. He likes to wear his Peter Pan costume every day and to bed. He wears the belt and the hat and the boots to bed. When he wakes up in the morning he calls for me and I go in to him and he says, "my hat!" And he grabs his hat and puts it back on. "Are you ready now?" I say and he says, "Yeah, ready mom." He likes to watch Peter Pan the movie every day. Davey used to do this too. He used to wear the costume, he used to watch the movie. I have seen this movie so many times now... all I can say is thank god it's a good movie. The part that does bother me is the horribly racist "Red Man" song about the origin of Native American stereo types. If I were a better person I would find a way to remove that scene before letting them watch it. I am a lazy person.

Deron got a new job. He's working at the Apple store. He has been wanting to work there for some time. He fought hard to get this job and we are all extremely proud of him. It's thrown us into quite the routine. He's working when I'm not working and vice versa. He worked 7 days in a row last week. He's tired. I'm tired. BUT it's a very good thing. We hope that this could be a career path for him. Right now he's just learning the ropes, keeping his head down, doing the work, showing up on time. Hopefully in the next couple of years he'll start to see a pathway up from the retail floor. We'll see! He really likes the store and the people and the work itself. Yay!

Davey broke his collar bone. He fell off a swing at the play ground in front of his school. He's wearing a little sling for 2 weeks before he is free to play again. He just has one more day of wearing it now. Apparently this is a very common injury for preschool aged children. Poor Davey. He has been very brave. He's tired of the sling though. I took it off of him the other night before bed and he stretched out his arm and said, 'ahhhhh FREEDOM!"

It's hard to believe that 2011 is coming to a close and that in a few months I will be going down to the elementary school to enroll Davey in kindergarten. He's doing great at his new pre-school, which is Spanish Immersion. He loves his maestras and his amigos and it's just the most wonderful little jewel of a program, regardless of Spanish element. We're hoping we can get him into one of the Spanish tracks in Culver City. It's a lottery system so we'll have to wait and see. Cross your fingers for us.

Morning and Afternoon Prayers

I am calling on my higher self
to awaken my intuition
and illuminate the path in front of me
my life's work and purpose

With gratitude, I thank you
my spirit guides
my higher self
my loved ones gone before me
thank you, thank you, thank you

Dear God keep my family safe
my children safe
Dear God keep me safe
so that I may care for my family
my children

As you can see

From the photo that I posted below, Deron and I both got really drunk at Willis and Lia's wedding. I've posted a photo from the beginning of the evening above.

I started that post I guess the last week in August and wasn't able to finish it. So I just posted it now, whatever.

Davey is doing great in school. He really loves it. Man we lucked out finding this school! We have our friend Lolly Ward to thank for it. She's one of those moms who researches every school option known to man and we rode right on her coat tails, never would have even known about it unless she had found it first. Thanks Lolly. The teachers are just so great. That perfect balance between nurture and discipline and it's just so small and cute and the other kids are great. Davey really loves it. His new thing is that he wants to do home work. At the orientation they told us that they would be assigning homework, nothing too hard just like, "draw a circle on a piece of paper." To get them in the habit of doing homework and having to listen to instruction and follow through. They haven't assigned any yet though and Davey is dying to do some home work so the night before last I was like, "Ok, you want homework? I'll give you homework." And I created a little mock assignment for him where he had to trace his name. Then last night he was sat on the couch next to me with a big fake *SIGH* and said, "I got a lotta homework tonight." So I gave him a new assignment tracing shapes and then he wanted more so I gave him the scissors and asked him to cut the shapes out. He cut the paper to smithereens and then said, "I'm done! Can I play Dragonslayer?" It's like he's already a teenager.

Jasper is on fire these days. He's turning two in three weeks and he's very terrible and very adorable all at the same time. He is trying so hard to talk and gets very, very frustrated when he can't be understood. He also wants to do absolutely everything himself and gets very very frustrated if you do something for him. This could be putting the lid on top of his juice or putting his shoe on or pulling his pants up or picking something up off the floor. If you do something like this for him, he screams. He screams and he cries and he throws himself down on the floor and he says, "ME!" When I talk to Davey about doing anything, getting a snack, going outside, going to the dentist, to school, to the potty, Jasper overhears and says, "AND ME!" He wants to do everything that Davey does and more. He wants Davey's clothes, to sit in Davey's chair, to drink Davey's drink, to eat Davey's food. I'm very hyper aware of Jasper's individuality because my sister grew up in my shadow and I don't want Jasper to get lost the way she sometimes did. I also have to just accept that this is a part of it and try not to over compensate. I think I'm definitely easier on Jasper than I was on Davey. With Davey I was more strict and always worried about boundaries and was he sharing and was he understanding that my word was final. With Jasper I do a lot more chalking it up to his age, "he's two." What are you going to do? He's two. He's really starting to talk a lot too. God I love the talking. Such a relief.

Deron has a second interview for a job today. I don't want to say much about it for fear of jinxing it but please say a prayer for him. It would be very good.

I bombed my Groundlings class and it's taken me a while to process why and how this happened but I bombed it. I've been trying to figure out what I should do now. Just forget it? Go to a different school? I think I've come to the conclusion that I need to go back to the same school and the same teacher and do it again and this time, keep my heart open and pass it. Probably after the new year.

We are going to Disneyland for Jasper's b-day, very exciting. We love it there. Can't wait.

This was a post I started but didn't finish

We are coming down the mountain. The mountain is summer and now we are staring down into the belly of the beast, that time between Labor Day and Thanksgiving where 90% of the work is done for the entire year. Why is it this way? I guess people just don't like to work but when summer is over and bonus decisions are right around the corner, they have no choice but to look busy. It's dog eat dog. Ah well, makes the time pass.

It's been a really great summer, lots of camping and Davey's Spiderman B-day party and Willis and Lia's wedding. My good friend Trisch is coming with her daughter Grayce tomorrow and they are staying with us for 5 nights. Davey is super excited and so am I. It will be exhausting and fun, a great end to the summer.

Davey starts his new Spanish immersion Pre-School on Tuesday. He's excited and nervous. We felt really torn about taking him out of his current pre-school where he's been so well cared for but I think the trade off is worth it. After going to the parent orientation last night these feelings were only solidified. It's a small school started by two native spanish speakers who have wonderful passion for early childhood education. He is in really good hands and I have a feeling he's going to thrive in this environment. Dup will be sad if I don't mention the hilarious hippy couple who attended the orientation last night with us. There are 20 kids in the school and so about 30 parents showed up and we were all sitting in tiny kid chairs. When the hippy dad pointed out that they had spelled their child's name wrong on her cubby, the hippy mom said really loudly and sarcastically, "I TOLD HIM NOT TO NAME HER THAT." Every one was like, "whoa. who let in the crazy?" Then after the teacher gave this really wonderful explanation of all of the fun celebratory activities the kids get to do, hippy mom asks, "How do you handle religious diversity because we don't eat meat." She was the most self righteous hippy I have ever encountered. GOD self righteous hippies are just the worst, aren't they? It just doesn't make sense. The hippy dad just sat there with a smile on his face. He was probably baked out of his mind, how else could he possibly tolerate her?

Willis and Lia got married last weekend. There just aren't very many words to describe how perfect and fun and amazing the whole thing was. They really knocked it out of the park. It was a grand reunion of so many old and dear friends from Seattle and New York and everyone really brought their A game good energy to the table. Love was in the air and so was vodka or in Dup's case, tequila. Dup and I both stayed up until 3am and had one of the best nights of our lives. We just danced and sang and got super super silly...

And He Turned Four