the not so secret

Here's a conversation between myself and my co-worker today:

My Co-worker: I'm so pissed off at my boss. I've been looking for jobs online all day.

Me: Anything good?

My Co-worker: No. Nothing. Anything good means a pay cut.

Me: Do you know what you need to do?

My Co-worker: No, tell me. Tell me what I need to do.

Me: You need to write down your ideal

My Co-worker: (overlapping) Is this "The Secret?" are you going to go all "The Secret" on me? Because you know I hate that shit.

Me: No, this isn't "The Secret" no. Well kind of but listen. Ok, you write down your dream job, you know be specific, you have to be very specific and write down what you really truly want.

My Co-worker: Oh yeah, definitely.

Me: But you know, in this reality. You have to be realistic.

My Co-worker: Trust me I am. I'm always realistic. Ok, so then what?

Me: Then just put it out there. Post it on your blog or I don't know, like go on a hike and stand on a cliff and like, wad it up into a ball and

My Co-worker: (overlapping) and eat it? Should I just eat the fucking thing?

Me: Yes, eat it. Eat the fucking thing and then wait until you shit it out. Shit it out and then put it in a bag and put it on your boss' doorstep and light it on fire and when he comes out and stomps it out, THAT is when you will get your job.

My Co-worker: That's what I need to do huh?

Me: Yes.