this photo kills me

Exactly one year ago I was four weeks pregnant with this little guy and I didn't even know it yet. The night before i took the pregnancy test, I went out with some friends in LA and had 3 vodka tonics and smoked a cigarette. He seems to be doing ok. This photo kills me. I can not believe that I wished for a baby and then I got pregnant and then I had a baby and this is his photo. He's starting to look more like Dup to me now. I still can't believe he is here.

I've been trying to negotiate the sleep patterns. He's not so much up all night as he just thrashes in his sleep. The pediatrician is telling us to just let him do this but he seems like he's having a bad dream and i get concerned and it keeps me up. So last night i was awake, watching him thrash around in his crib, trying to figure out if i should pick him up and feed him or not and I was so tired and frustrated with the situation that I let out this big *SIGH*. Dup was like, "just roll him over." And I lost it. I was like, "This is what I deal with all night while you are over there sleeping!" Dup simply got up out of bed, walked over to the crib, rolled Davey onto his back, put the little rolled up towel bunting next to one arm, tucked the other arm to his side and stuck the pacifier in his mouth. Lil' D settled and immediately went back to sleep. Then Dup was like, "do you want me to sleep on that side so that you can get some sleep and I'll wake you up if he needs to eat?" I was like, "um.....NO." In a really bitter and immature tone. In the moment I felt embarrassed and out-done as a mother but when I woke up I was so glad that this is who is taking care of our baby when I'm at work.

Thanks for taking such good care of our little dude Duppy daddy.