la Ketch

my life story

Friday, January 13, 2006

Conversation between my 21 year old self and my 31 year old self

21 year old la Ketch: What are we doing?

31 year old la Ketch: What does it look like we’re doing?
21 year old la Ketch: It looks like we’re walking into a McDonalds

31 year old la Ketch: Um, yeah. Yeah we are.

21 year old la Ketch: Well I hope we are going to burn it down or something. We better have some gasoline and a match in our purse.

31 year old la Ketch: No. We’re not going to burn it down. We’re going to get some fries and a diet coke because we’re slightly hung over and it’s the only thing that’s going to make us feel better and get off your fucking high horse because this is the first time we’ve gone here in about a year and half since we saw “Super Size Me” and we swore that we’d never go to McDonalds again.

21 year old la Ketch: No, I swore we’d never go to McDonalds again after reading "Diet for a New America". So why did we feel the need to RE-swear it? Unless, we’ve been going to McDonalds in the MEANTIME? Jesus you’re pathetic. Next you’re going to tell me that we’re eating meat.

31 year old la Ketch: Ummmm….

21 year old la Ketch: Oh my god.

31 year old la Ketch: Listen you little twit. You smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, you drink way too much, you smoke tons of pot, you snort cocaine and crystal meth, you stay out too late and you have sex with stupid people who don’t call you and make you feel shity about yourself. Your life is so much more dangerous and bad for you than our life now that I just can’t even stand to listen to you drone on about being a vegitarian.

21 year old la Ketch: Please don’t go into that McDonalds. You are going to feel horrible about yourself afterwards.

31 year old la Ketch:
FINE. Okay. I won’t. You're right. I won't.

21 year old la Ketch: You could lose five pounds by the way.

31 year old la Ketch: So could you.

21 year old la Ketch: Yeah I know.

(Moments later, 31 year old la Ketch goes into McDonalds anyway. She feels horrible about it afterwards.)


At 4:30 PM, Blogger Millie said...

METH!!! Gurrl, McDonald's is fine every once in awhile. Stop being so hard on the 31 year old self - she rules.

At 8:17 PM, Blogger john said...

They should form a rock band. It would break up over "creative differences" almost immediately, of course, but it should last long enough for an outstanding EP.

At 10:27 PM, Blogger ketchummccabe said...

Hilary, this must be some kind of coded message because I know you never did those things. Someone is holding you hostage and making you tell lies on your blog. Keep sending me the messages and I will find you and save you.

At 4:06 PM, Blogger Adam said...

I love when the two of you talk. When you are 32, will you talk to your 22 year old self?

At 7:30 PM, Blogger Eve said...

Tell that little 21 year old hussy to just shut up right now! She doesn't have to deal with the consequences of McDonald's, so she should respect your Supersized 10 years of experience! Cholesteral and rat hair adds character!

At 7:24 PM, Blogger Sean Nelson said...

god, that's such a great picture. when i was 21, i looked like a lump of white play-doh that some kid left on his mom's station wagon dashboard. with an afro. if not a jew-fro.


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