I feel like Nell Carter.

If it's not one thing it's another in this life but this year has been especially grabby with any extra money we happen to have laying around. We just asked Dup's dad for a loan to cover Davey's day care expenses for next year (very hard thing for Dup to do, thank you Dup). He graciously agreed to lend us the money and I kid you not, 24 hours later our fucking car needs a new transmission and it's going to cost about half of the money we just borrowed from him.

It hurts man. It just hurts. It just feels like this year has been crazy with the unexpected expenses. We had to pay a bunch of money for Davey's hospital bill in January, insurance only covers 10% plus we had to pay the deductible... there are other things but I just can't even list them. It's too boring.

God this post is boring. But we all deal with it. Money problems, money worries. It causes a lot of worry and most of the hard work that we do in this life is to avoid that worry.

I come from a long line of people who are horrible with money. My people are the buy on credit and worry about it later kind of people but Dup is the opposite. He comes from a long line of the cheapest people on the planet. That's another way of saying that Dup is very good with money. He plans, he makes spreadsheets, he reads self help books and money blogs and he has cleaned up my act. I'm so grateful. He helped get me out of debt. He cleaned up my credit. It's a great feeling. What is a horrible feeling is working my fucking ass off, being dead tired at the end of the day and not having any extra spending money at all to show for it.

We bought a condo this year. We knew it was going to be tight for a while, probably at least 5-6 years we would struggle to make payments and then we bought 2 cars and then we got pregnant. So what the fuck did we think was going to happen? All of these things are just money magnets. They all hold potential for sudden high cost hits to the old bank account.

We sat down about 2 weeks ago and crunched all of the numbers and it's just tight and we both have jobs. So many people are losing their jobs right now. If we lost ours we'd be totally fucked. Oh Universe. Please Universe, don't hear that and laugh. We get it Universe. You can do whatever you want. We respect that. We honor that. You are every powerful. Now please. Please. Just knock it off for a while ok? Can you just hold off until 2010 at least? Just give us a small break. We're trying to be good. We're trying to play by the rules and it just feels like slings and arrows sometimes.

Ultimately we are going to be fine. We'll figure it out. Somehow, it will work out. I'm just so tired of the subject and how it seems like all my husband and I talk about is money. What a cliche. If you look at it from another direction, we are rich beyond our wildest dreams. So I'll shut up now. I just hope that we can get a little break for a while.

Thanks.