i'm making coffee...

There was a commercial that was on in the early eighties where the wife is in bed sleeping and the husband is like, "Honey it's time to get up." and she just lies there with her eyes closed and says, "III'm maaaykiiiing cooffeeeee!" It was a commercial for an automatic coffee maker with a timer. Do you remember it? It used to be a sort of joke in our family growing up, one of the oft quoted sayings along with, "South to drop off MORON!" which is of course from "Mr. Mom". There were many other things we quoted to each other from the obvious movies and shows of the time but this was bandied about for a while, this making coffee thing. I don't remember the context in which it was used. Maybe something like, "you have to clean your room now." response: "IIII'm maaaykiiiing cooffeeeee." I remember my mom saying it a lot.

Anyway, I bought a coffee maker today with an automatic timer. The reason I bought it is that I became convinced this morning that if I had one I would be able to get up in the morning. I can not get up in the morning. It's always been a downfall of mine. I'm a super heavy sleeper and every morning is like the first time for me, it's own special mini opera of peeling myself out of my dreams and away from the mattress. Every morning I go through the possibility of quitting my job (i could get another one) or calling in sick (how long has it been?) and every morning my husband comes in and says things to me like, "You're going to be late," or "You have to get up," or my least favorite, "You'd better get up."

This morning I screamed at him, "You think I don't know that? I know I have to get up but I am unable to!"

You see my husband is chipper in the morning and if there is anything a heavy sleeper can't stand, it's a chipper person in the morning. Of course, I felt horrible afterwards and later I got to thinking that I have to break this pattern somehow. I have to start getting up earlier.

Dup gets up at 5:00AM to write his play before work. I get up at 6:30-6:45. In the 30 minutes I give myself to get ready I have to walk the dog (Dup walks him again later), take a shower, make the bed, get dressed and leave. I put my makeup on in the subway and I do my hair when I get to the office. I'm should leave the apt. at 7:15 to get to work by 8:00 but i always leave at 7:30 and I'm always 10 min late. It's not such a big deal but it stresses me out and it doesn't look good.

When I'm lying in bed trying to think of reasons to get up (being late doesn't work until I'm truly going to be very late) I always think to myself, "If only Dup would make me a cup of coffee, then maybe I could get up." I like to put things on him as much as possible, especially when I am in a grumpy mood. I always realize later that this is not really a reasonable request. He used to do this for me a while back when he got up to write but it's not really in the marital contract. It's hard enough for him to get his ass up out of bed at 5am, which I would never do, let alone make me a hot and caffeinated beverage on top of it.

So this coffee maker, will it do me a damned bit of good? III'm maaaykiing cooffeeee.

Stay tuned!