Beagle Baby

Last night poor Baby E the beagle had such a bad dream. He was grunting and crying down at the bottom of our bed where he sleeps, moving his little paws back and forth. He was so upset that I tried to wake him up out of it. He did wake up eventually and then he got up and couldn't go back to sleep. The poor little dear was just pacing and walking around the bed like a doggie insomniac.

Dup finally shot up awake and said, "He cant sleep!" He turned on the light and I saw that Eliott had thrown up on the bed. Luckily we put a sort of throw thing over the comforter for him to sleep on and it was just on that. I changed the throw but OH POOR E. He was so upset by his dream that he puked! It just makes me so sad to think that this poor little beagle has thoughts and images rolling through his mind that could disturb him so.

We got him back up on the bed and (WE NEVER DO THIS) put him between us, under the covers. He laid down and I put my arms around him and he fell right to sleep like a little human baby. He's such a furry little human baby. Soon he was snoring and snorting like a little pig. It kept me up but I didn't care because he was so peaceful and I was so relieved that he was sleeping sound.

Sometimes I will say to Dup, "Don't you wish that Baby E would just turn into a real baby?" Dup's reaction to this notion is always horror. He looks at me as if I've suggested something evil. I do wish it though. I feel like we've taken on this challenge in taking him in. We've become adults because we've had to put this little being first. We've changed our lifestyle completely to accommodate his needs. We've spent a fortune on vet bills. We've spent a fortune on training. We've fattened him up. We keep him clean. We keep him safe.

So wouldn't it be great if, after passing this sort of test we've given ourselves, he could turn, like Gipetto's Pinnochio, into a real boy?

If and when we are so blessed to have a child, it's going to be hard taking care of E on the same level we do now. He's going to get shafted. A lot of young couples get dogs to fill their baby void and then once the baby comes, they get rid of their dog. That is not an option for us. Baby E is a part of us now. He is our family. I would no sooner give him away than I would chop off my own foot. It's a ridiculous notion that is not even worth entertaining for a second.

However, it's going to be hard. One of us will be working full time for sure and the other will have to go back to work at least part time after a while. So we will have to take care of the baby on our own a lot. I'm imagining myself hauling a stroller down the stairs with a baby in my arms and the dog on the leash. What if Eliott got away from me somehow? I couldn't chase him with a baby! What about when it's snowing? What then? Everytime the dog has to pee I have to bundle up the baby in the baby snowsuit! What if the baby has a cold?! or a FEVER?!

There are two solutions to this problem. A. Have the baby, ship it to my mother in California and have her raise it until it can talk, walk and do household chores or B. Somehow morph this dog into a baby.

I'm open to suggestions.
Also, this is all still extremely hypothetical because I AM NOT PREGNANT.