la Ketch

my life story

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Beagle Baby

Last night poor Baby E the beagle had such a bad dream. He was grunting and crying down at the bottom of our bed where he sleeps, moving his little paws back and forth. He was so upset that I tried to wake him up out of it. He did wake up eventually and then he got up and couldn't go back to sleep. The poor little dear was just pacing and walking around the bed like a doggie insomniac.

Dup finally shot up awake and said, "He cant sleep!" He turned on the light and I saw that Eliott had thrown up on the bed. Luckily we put a sort of throw thing over the comforter for him to sleep on and it was just on that. I changed the throw but OH POOR E. He was so upset by his dream that he puked! It just makes me so sad to think that this poor little beagle has thoughts and images rolling through his mind that could disturb him so.

We got him back up on the bed and (WE NEVER DO THIS) put him between us, under the covers. He laid down and I put my arms around him and he fell right to sleep like a little human baby. He's such a furry little human baby. Soon he was snoring and snorting like a little pig. It kept me up but I didn't care because he was so peaceful and I was so relieved that he was sleeping sound.

Sometimes I will say to Dup, "Don't you wish that Baby E would just turn into a real baby?" Dup's reaction to this notion is always horror. He looks at me as if I've suggested something evil. I do wish it though. I feel like we've taken on this challenge in taking him in. We've become adults because we've had to put this little being first. We've changed our lifestyle completely to accommodate his needs. We've spent a fortune on vet bills. We've spent a fortune on training. We've fattened him up. We keep him clean. We keep him safe.

So wouldn't it be great if, after passing this sort of test we've given ourselves, he could turn, like Gipetto's Pinnochio, into a real boy?

If and when we are so blessed to have a child, it's going to be hard taking care of E on the same level we do now. He's going to get shafted. A lot of young couples get dogs to fill their baby void and then once the baby comes, they get rid of their dog. That is not an option for us. Baby E is a part of us now. He is our family. I would no sooner give him away than I would chop off my own foot. It's a ridiculous notion that is not even worth entertaining for a second.

However, it's going to be hard. One of us will be working full time for sure and the other will have to go back to work at least part time after a while. So we will have to take care of the baby on our own a lot. I'm imagining myself hauling a stroller down the stairs with a baby in my arms and the dog on the leash. What if Eliott got away from me somehow? I couldn't chase him with a baby! What about when it's snowing? What then? Everytime the dog has to pee I have to bundle up the baby in the baby snowsuit! What if the baby has a cold?! or a FEVER?!

There are two solutions to this problem. A. Have the baby, ship it to my mother in California and have her raise it until it can talk, walk and do household chores or B. Somehow morph this dog into a baby.

I'm open to suggestions.

Also, this is all still extremely hypothetical because I AM NOT PREGNANT.


At 9:35 PM, Blogger ketchummccabe said...

how bout this...............
i take E for 6 months and then the baby for 6 months and so on and so on
did E get his doggy stairs?

At 9:31 PM, Blogger momster said...

We had our doggie for a year and a half before our daughter was born. At that time he was MY dog. I was his best bud because I spent the most time with him. That changed after baby came. I was totally focused on her. Fortunately he did not resent this too much as my hubby took over as his best bud. It's not that we're not friends anymore, it's just that we arn't 'best'.
I suppose it all depends on the dog!
Bye for now, momster

At 9:38 PM, Blogger bladio said...

Eliott is so lucky to have you and dup as parents. i hope he's feeling better today, little puke-mon.

At 4:00 PM, Blogger A Large Slice of Cake said...

On the other side of this, one reason I've always been a little weirded out by pets is that they will never talk. I just don't get that. I mean, you talk so much to them; you raise them. When are they going to talk?

At 1:34 PM, Blogger Sean Nelson said...

i might be pregnant.

At 12:24 AM, Blogger Choux*Pastry*Heart said...


At 7:26 PM, Blogger Certainlia said...

But what happens if you have the baby and then you realize that actually what you want is for it to turn into a sweet little beagle?

At 10:23 AM, Blogger Jason Grote said...

I'll actualy confess this for the first time: I physically gave birth to our two cats, Ernesto and Leopold. From my thigh. I'm saving it for a blog entry.


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