la Ketch

my life story

Friday, February 10, 2006

White Out

Happy Friday. It’s been quite a week for me at work in that I have been working and that has cut into my blogging time considerably. It’s horrible and unjust, yes, but I’ve had no choice. I will explain in a bit. First I want to share with you, if you are not aware of it already, the pure joy and goodness that is

**Rilo Kiley**

FW first told me about them this summer when they were opening for the Pixies at Coney Island. A show I ended up missing regretfully because my MOM was in town. If she hadn’t given birth to me, I would have ditched her and gone. People said, “bring her” and I considered it because my mom is COOL but…. well she’s not THAT cool. (hi mom. i love you).

Anyway, I got the cd this summer and along with the new Harvey Danger, I listened to it until my ears bled. Then I couldn’t listen to it anymore. I have this crappy little MP3 player that only holds 70 songs but it’s perfect if you get new music because you can just load it on there and listen over and over (which I have a tendency to do). Now, I’ve gone back to it. I’ve gone back to even more of it because Dup got me the other two CD’s for Christmas.

If you haven’t heard it yet, click on this link here for a delicious taste:

The song playing on the website is “Portions for Foxes” and I think you will find that it is awesome. When I first heard this music I felt that the lead singer (Jenny Lewis, pictured above, who now has a side, solo project “Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins” also very good) was a cross between Gwen Stephanie and Lucinda Williams. Now I think she’s just her own, very real deal.

When I listen to that song in particular (Portions), I can’t help but imagine myself in a car, in LA, driving around in some cute outfit with big sunglasses, singing along. It is sunny and warm and I am oh so alive. The band is from LA and Jenny Lewis is from LA and it is cold here and GOD I WANT TO LIVE IN LA WITH JENNY LEWIS AND HER BAND.

Another video of Jill Carroll yesterday. I have a bad feeling about it. It seems like her captors aren’t even watching the fucking news. They want all female Iraqi prisoners released. Five have been released but there are still four in captivity. The US certainly will not release them. Jill Carroll says, “time is running out” and I believe her. I think they’re going to kill her. I feel like that’s the last time we see her alive. I know that’s extremely negative and I hope that I am wrong.

The reason I’ve been working so much is because I’m in this sort of fight with one of the girls in our office who usually does all of my work for me. She is young and obnoxious and not funny and totally annoying but I used to think she was nice and well meaning until she revealed herself to be a total bitch cunt. Now I hate her and I want to set her hair on fire which would be very easy because it’s extremely long, dry, lifeless and brittle.

I’ve always known that this girl was a bit insane. You can tell by talking to her for five minutes. She came to the city to be an actor (case and point). Worse, she thinks that she is an actor even though the only acting she has done in the three years since she’s been here is a show case that she did at the end of an acting class she took which she invited the entire office to. She didn’t just invite them, she sent out three reminder e-mails. Some people actually went to it and reported back that it was of course, painful, horrible, embarrassing and shameful. She talks about musical theatre constantly and she loves to talk about being “on tour” and how she was in “Cats”. She used to say that she was in “Cats” in a way that insinuated that she was in the actual Broadway production until someone said to her, ‘I can’t believe you were on Broadway.” And then she had to admit that she wasn’t. It wasn’t even a Broadway tour. It was after the show closed, some crappy community touring production. I can’t even talk to her about it to get more details. It’s too horrible. She also talks about being Anna in “The King and I” (summer stock somewhere) and how a reviewer said that she was more beautiful that the actor that played Anna in the movie (Deborah Kerr). Every time she opens her mouth I just feel so sorry for her. Correction: DID feel sorry for her. I did feel sorry for her until she went completely psycho on me and now I hate her stupid, bitch, cunt-face guts.

I won’t even tell you what transpired between us because it’s soooo officey and lame and boring. Ok, I’ll tell you. She was going to “Staples” to pick up some binders and it just so happened that we were out of white out and I needed some because I make a lot of mistakes. So I said, “You’re going to Staples? Can you pick me up a thing of white out?” She started getting all flustered, “Well I have to carry all of these binders.” I lifted the empty container of white out to demonstrate how small and easy to carry it would be, accompanied by a look that said, “you’re joking right?” She wasn’t joking. She had lost her mind. Just then another office monkey straddled up to the credenza and asked jovially, “You’re going to Staples? Can you get me some post-its?” Which caused her to completely freak out and say with rapidity and fervour, “This is not a normal Staples run. I’m not taking Staples orders. I’m just going to get the binders.” We were like, “Okay, whatever weirdo. We'll order the stuff ourselves. No bigee!” And then just as she was walking away one of the crazy, anal, analysts I work for IMs me, “Is someone going to Staples? I need dividers.” I knew that asking this crazy musical theatre bitch to get the goddamned dividers was going to push her over the edge. I should have just gone on my own when I went to get my lunch. I should have offered to go with her to help her carry the stuff but instead I walked up to her as she was putting on her coat and said, “I know you have a lot to carry but can you please get some dividers for Samantha. She really does need them immediately.” Then she really freaked out. She seriously looked like she was going to cry, “It’s just that this is not a regular Staples Run! I’m just going to get binders and now everyone is asking me to get them all of this stuff!” Not wanting to be outdone, I freaked out on her right back, loudly, in front of the whole office, “Why are you freaking out about this? Why are you freaking out about going to Staples? It’s just Staples? We’re not asking you to get the white out or the post its anymore. We will order them separately. I just need you to get these dividers. They are very light. I don’t think you will have any trouble carrying them and Samantha really does need them right away.” She’s like, “I was going to get dividers anyway.” And I said, “Good, then however many you were planning to get, just get one more.” My words were polite and reasonable But my tone was very condescending and like, “you crazy bitch” and I knew I had embarrassed the hell out of her but I think she deserved it.

Needless to say, ever since the whole thing went down she won’t look me in the eye and when she does, it's daggers. The worst part about it is she won’t do any of my work for me which means I’ve been doing tons of mindless data entry all week. If this goes on for too much longer, I’m going to have to speak with her in the conference room. I can’t be expected to work all the time like this.

I know that I humiliated her in front of the whole office but I can’t bring myself to go apologize because I feel that really, she humiliated herself by acting so crazy. I hate passive aggressive bullshit. If you have a fucking problem with me then let’s hug it out. Let’s discuss it and move on. That’s not her style though. She’d rather sit over there at the other end of the row and send me hate vibes all day. She’s over there right now, listening to her IPod (probably some crappy Kristen Chenoweth solo album or something) and IM’ing her stupid friends about how she wants to set my hair on fire but she can’t because it’s too healthy and shiny. I want to confront her and get it over with but I’m going to wait and see if she calms down. If she doesn’t, I’m going to have to suck it up and kiss her chunky ass because I can’t handle this work for much longer.

Have a good weekend everyone. It's supposed to snow a bunch here which I'm sort of looking forward to actually. Could be fun. Eliott loves the snow. I'll try and take some photos of him romping in it.

la Ketch


At 12:29 PM, Blogger Millie said...

Holy Shit, that is the best entry ever. Could it be because I sit right next to pyscho whore, am I biased? Whatever, that is some funny shit. (Well minus the part of the blog referring to CF. Obviously, not missing the Pixies/RK Concert or the female POWs).

At 1:24 PM, Blogger la Ketch said...

Yes Millie, i think that might be it. Millie has warned me all along about this girl and i never listened. Now i know the truth.

At 6:20 PM, Blogger A Large Slice of Cake said...

Office politics suck--the angry flare-ups, the aggression, the self-doubt and justification--but it's somehow soothing to hear about someone else's. That chick does sound a bit more psycho than the average, though. Hey, if you're going to Staples, can you get me some bubble wrap? And maybe some toner cartridges?

At 8:36 PM, Blogger P'tit Boo said...

Well Hil... after some guy called me a f#$#$# cunt yesterday at work ( not a coworker but a customer!) , this really made my day. I think it's wrong that I adored this post but I did.

It also made me think about the time I came to visit in your basement apartment and how we had a good time. And how I wish that I had gotten to know you a bit better because you are my kind of no bullshit kinda girl !

At 8:49 PM, Blogger ketchummccabe said...

Just watched OFFICE SPACE last week and your blog is just like that except hang on to your stapler and dont burn the building down. Love it when you mention me in the blog!!!!!!
And it is very warm here in California right now.

At 8:54 PM, Blogger ketchummccabe said...

Just listened to Rilo Kiley and Bud really likes it!! me too


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