Thanks for Sharing: Chocolate

I know this happens in every office but in our office it's particularly bad because we work on the "buy-side" of an asset management company and the "sell-side" is always trying to court our analysts and traders for their business. I could explain the logistics of these relationships further but this entry is already so boring to begin with...

My point is that we get loads of free shit all the time mainly in the form of food and especially around the holidays. We have this big credenza in the center of the office and in about one week it will be covered with loads of crap: cookies, cakes, chocolate, wine, hams, fruit, you name it. The stuff just sits there in a giant heap, radiating calories. It's all bad for you; except for the wine which is good for you and disappears immediately (usually into my handbag) and the fruit which is rare.

This credenza I speak of sits directly in from of my desk. I stare at my computer and in every direction of my periphery is the mound of temptation. Last year there was a huge, huge, huge box of chocolates, gourmet chocolates, like as good as Godiva or better. I swear that box was regenerating. Every time we thought we were at the bottom of the box another layer would appear. Of course, every woman in the office is insane about goddamned chocolate like we are living in a Cathy cartoon or something. It's such a cliche but what can you do? Chocolate is good. When you are bored out of your mind and it's 2:45 and you are falling asleep at your desk, you're going to have one... or two or five. It tastes so good at first that first bite especially. Sometimes you even have to make some sort of sound to go along with it like, "mmmmm, ohmygodsogood." Then you get this great sugar/caffeine rush and you FEEL so good for about, say twenty minutes. Then you crash down off that rush and you want to kill yourself. It's very cyclical, like smoking crack.

So today we got our first holiday thing. It's a huge box filled with 15 round tins of shortbread cookies, one for each person in the office. I have officially worked in my office for one year now because I remember opening the same box of shortbread cookies sent from the same company just before Thanksgiving last year. I put those cookies up on the credenza just now and it generated a bevy of conversation. The same conversation it always generates. It's so boring that I just have to share it with you:

Some Jock Trader: Ohhhh, whatya got there the shortbread cookies?
la Ketch: Yup.
Another jock trader: Hey, they send those every year who are those from?
la Ketch: Name of sell-side company that sends the cookies
Female analyst: Those are like pure butter.
Another female analyst: Ohhhh, remember those chocolates?

and so on....

I swear to you, everytime i put something new on the table it will be the same conversation all over again and when we DO get the box of chocolates...

AAAck!!!!!!